Empty Handed

Last night, while trying to sleep, I thought to myself how 2007 has been. Well, if there can be a word to summarize it, it is 'defeated'. I can't pinpoint why and where, but I guess I do feel defeated in many aspects. And there is this will-less, senseless, and powerless surrender to Him. I suppose 'lousy' surrender is better than no surrender to the sovereign Lord. I told a couple of friends that I just want to wrap up 2007 with the coming exam paper and then quietly pass through December. I guess during cell time today, which is the last time we are gathering together for the year, and also the last time I'll be their cluster leader, I could have put in a bit more effort to wrap up the year and share with them my hopes and dreams for them. I'm really thankful for the excellent leadership of Kwang How, June, Boon, John, Wayon, Abramham, Hewlett, Yue-yi and Lisa for the past few years. Somehow couldn't quite turn my appreciation into proper words. Maybe I'll take December slowly to write some sincere thanksgiving cards.

Here I am
Humbled by your Majesty,
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am
Knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found
the greatest love of all
is mine since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am:
empty handed but alive in your hands

Here I am
humbled by the love that you give
forgiven so I can forgive
Here I stand
Knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by Glory and Fire

Now I've found
the greatest love of all
is mine since you Laid down your life
the greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
empty handed but alive in your hands

Majesty Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
in the presence of your Majesty
Majesty

Hermann Hesse

On Art and War:

'Yes,' said I, 'what we are doing is probably mad, and probably it is good and necessary all the same. It is not a good thing when man overstains his reason and tries to reduce to rational order matters that are not susceptible of rational treatment. Then there are ideals such as those of the Americans or of the Bosheviks. Both are extraordinarily rational, and both lead to a frightful oppression and impoverishment of life, because they simplify it so crudely. The likeness of man, once a high ideal, is in process of becoming a machine-made article. It is for madmen like us, perhaps, to ennoble it again.'

With a laugh Gustav replied: 'You talk like a book, my boy. It is a pleasure and a privilege to drink at such a fount of wisdom. And perhaps there is even something in what you say. But now kindly re-load your piece. You are rather too dreamy for my taste. Any moment may bring a few buck, and we cannot kill them with philosophy. We must have bullets in our barrels.'